World Cup Cheat-Sheet: Ladies Edition (Group G: Germany, USA,Portugal & Ghana)

Here's the scoreboard as of this morning. Germany demolished Ronaldo's Portugal thanks in part to Portugal's true bad boy; Pepe. USA showed good face by beating out a stunned Ghana 2:1 & in between it all, Iran & Nigeria drew zero.

Now let's take a VERY slow & longing look at the pretty boys & the rough necks of Group G: Germany, USA, Portugal & Ghana

Germany :
Schwartz, Rot Gold! That just rolls off the tongue doesn't it? It means 'Black, Red, Gold', for the colors of the German flag. I have visited DE several times but when I was in Berlin for the 2006 World Cup match featuring DE vs ARG it was electrifying! I had never seen so many German flags out in the open. It was as if the Germans finally got their groove back. Today, people don't think twice about wearing the tricot & that's nice to see but what's nicer to see is the actual players in & out of their blacks, their reds, and their.. well, you decide from there. All I know is, some of these boys deserve gold stars for showmanship. They make me want to sing 'I love German boys!'.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
- The team's nickname: Die Mannschaft, means "The Team". German efficiency at its best because just two germanic words can often shock anyone who's listening
- Playing style: As Gary Lineker said during WC'90, "Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win." That was the Germany of old, today's squad add flair, style & as always precision to their plays.
- Players to watch: Marco "Rolls-Reus" Reus, Klose, Mueller & the sexiest coach at the WC, Joachim 'Jogi" Löw. His hair has a shampoo contract!
- How far can they go: With the best midfielding team Germany has ever seen, they can definitely get to the final if they can patch up their injured players in time & get Schweinsteiger back in tip-top form. The germans are tired of being #3 but no EU team has ever won the WC on LatAm soil, so can the Germans be the first?
- Lastly, behold the German squad & their mesmerizing coach ;)

German Chancellor Angela Merkel tagged this on FB as: "Dont hate the Playa', Hillary!"

Mesut Özil's "V" & abs want to send you their new selfie

Bastian has been bad, very bad!

The Squad, ready for after hours

Mario Gomez knows how to tease

Coach Löw and his oh-so-intense stare

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Portugal :
Portugal! Often undervalued & underestimated but most Portuguese don't mind it that way, since it means they get to keep more of that beautiful country to themselves. The same can be said of their football team. Yes they have one of the best players in the world but that's also the problem. Portugal has a talented squad which seems to be dwarfed by CR's ego & hype which in turn puts more pressure on CR & the squad. They are the dark, sexy, mediterranean... oh, sorry! right, they are one of the dark horses of the WC ;)

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
- The team's nickname: Selecção das Quinas; "The team of the Shields," refers to the 5 shields ("quinas") & the 5 dots in each shield (bezants) on the flag
- Playing style: Big on passing... the ball to CR9 so he can do as he pleases :(
- Players to watch: João Moutinho can pass well & Captain CR9 is touted as the single person who can carry Portugal to victory. Yeah, no pressure!
- How far can they go: Well after being ROCKED by DE they need to rock every other team in order to keep 2nd place. If they can do that, they'll bow out at the R16
- Lastly, here are 2 of Portugal's most 'valuable' players for reference purposes ;)

Helder Postiga + CR

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USA :
No, the US squad didn't make a wrong turn at the baseball field, they are back to prove they can do better than last time & that they can lift that darn-tooten WC trophy with the foreign words on it!

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
- The team's nickname: There's no official nickname but fans call them Stars & Stripes or the Yanks
- Playing style: Do-or-die mentality with a good defense & decent counter attacks but even with former german star player/coach Klinsmann as their coach, they still need a lil' extra something to help then beat the likes of DE & IT
- Players to watch: Bradley & german bad boy Jermaine Jones
- How far can they go: The US is in the true Group of Death & might make it out of the group alive if Portugal doesn't get its act together.
- Lastly, here is one of USA's most 'valuable' players for reference purposes ;)

LL Cool Oguchi Onyewu needs love

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Ghana:
The Ghanaian team feel robbed thanks to Uruguay's tactics at the last WC QF so they are back for revenge!

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
- The team's nickname: Black Stars in reference to the black star on Ghana's flag
- Playing style: progressive, versatile with a bit of flair
- Players to watch: Bad boy Kevin Prince-Boateng, Afriyie Acquah & Asamoah Gyan, Ghana's all-time top scorer
- How far can they go: It's the group of death but Ghana is going to fight tooth and nail to get through to the Semis in order to meet Uruguay again
- Lastly, here is one of Ghana's most 'valuable' players for reference purposes ;)

Kevin Prince Boateng showing us some of his skills